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Jerry Springer by “Weird Al” Yankovic

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Jerry Springer“Weird Al” Yankovic

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Hensius Woodard's avatar
Created by
Hensius

Guitar Chords

    -Standard Tuning-
    -Capo on the 2nd fret-
    \{Chorus\}
    GCadd9
    It's been one week since we got to see 
    GCadd9
    Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry 
    GCadd9
    Five days since they had the show 
    GCadd9
    With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho 
    GCadd9
    Three days since we heard the tale 
    GCadd9
    About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male 
    GCadd9
    Yesterday it occurred to me 
    GCadd9
    That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer 
    \{Verse 1\}
    GCadd9
    Holy cow, d'you see it last week? 
    G
    Well, they had this one freak 
    Cadd9
    Who sucker-punched his whole family 
    GCadd9
    Do you recall when the brawl 
    G
    Became a total free-for-all 
    Cadd9
    And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee 
    GCadd9
    Hey, see the stripper with the implants 
    G
    She likes to lap dance 
    Cadd9
    And date the boyfriend of her mother 
    GCadd9
    Now here come's Jerry's next guest 
    G
    And it's a slugfest 
    Cadd9
    'Cause it's her trailer trash brother 
    GCadd9
    Nymphomaniac is back on crack 
    G
    It's like "When Animals Attack" 
    Cadd9
    They all exhibit reprehensible behavior 
    GCadd9
    Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes 
    G
    Step on their toes, that's how it goes 
    Cadd9
    They get so violent they have to sign a waiver 
    \{Bridge 1\}
    Em7Dadd9
    They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame 
    BmCadd9
    On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame 
    Em7Dadd9
    There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange 
    BmCadd9
    When he found out that his wife had a sex change 
    Em7Dadd9
    They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly 
    BmCadd9
    They have a history of ripping off their shirts 
    \{Chorus\}
    It's been one week since they had the fight
    With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
    Five days since that awful brawl
    They still haven't got the blood off the wall
    It's been three days since the bitter fued
    Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
    Yesterday, finally dawned on me
    I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer
    \{Interlude\}
    GCadd9
    , (x7) 
    \{Guy\} Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister
    \{Gal\} Oh? Well, which one?
    \{Guy\} All of them
    \{Gal Oh! Well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake!
    \{Guy\} Yah? Well, well me too!
    \{Gal\} Oh!
    \{Guy\} And I've sleepin' with your dog Woofie!
    (barking)
    \{Gal\} Woofie, you b-tch!
    \{Gal\} Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!
    (baaahhing)
    \{Guy\} That goat doesn't love to you!
    \{Verse 2\}
    Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'
    Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'
    Jerry's the king of confrontation
    He's a sensation
    He puts the 'sin' in syndication
    It's totally worthless, like a bad check
    It's like a train wreck
    Don't wanna stare but you can't look away
    Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
    But with more weirdos
    The ratings jumpin' higher everyday
    If you've seen the show, well then you know
    It's just as low as you can go
    The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene
    And pretty soon some ugly goon
    Comes in the room and then it's BOOM
    In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen
    \{Bridge 2\}
    Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities
    Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
    "Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant
    Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
    I have a tendency to watch it religiously
    I have a history of taping each one
    \{Chorus\}
    It's been one week since the show about
    Psycho killers with problems they should work out
    Five days since the big surprise
    When some loser's wife said she's shtill dating twenty guys
    Three days wince he interviewed
    A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
    Yesterday, it occurred to me
    That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer
    Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
    I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
    Come over here and pull on my finger
    G
    \{End on \}