Albuquerque chords & lyrics - “Weird Al” Yankovic

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Albuquerque by “Weird Al” Yankovic

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Albuquerque“Weird Al” Yankovic

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Radjiv Knight's avatar
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Radjiv

Guitar Chords

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    “Weird Al” YankovicBeverly Hillbillies Tune “Weird Al” YankovicYou Don't Love Me Anymore “Weird Al” YankovicMoney for Nothing Beverly Hillbillies (1) “Weird Al” YankovicAlbuquerque “Weird Al” YankovicMoney for Nothing Beverly Hillbillies “Weird Al” YankovicEverything You Know Is Wrong
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    B|--1-- B|--3-- B|--1-- B|--2--|
    G|--2-- G|--3-- G|--1-- G|--1--|
    D|--3-- D|--3-- D|--1-- D|--3--|
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    Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the 
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    stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the 
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    street from Jerry?s Bait Shop? You know the place? Well anyway, back then 
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    life was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy? except of course 
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    for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me 
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    a big old bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. Daaaaaaaouh! Big bowl of 
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    sauerkraut! 
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    my mom, I said, ?Hey mom, what?s up with all the sauerkraut?? And my dear 
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    sweet mother she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train. 
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    And she leaned right down next to me, and she said, ?It?s good for you!? 
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    And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth 
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    and force|-fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty-six and a half 
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    years old. That?s when I swore that someday, someday I would get out of 
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    that basement and travel to a magical far away place where the sun is 
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    always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are 
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    oh so fluffy, where the shriners and the lepers play their ukulele?s all 
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    day long and anyone on the street?ll gladly shave you?re back for a 
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    nickel. Wakawakadoodoo yah! Well let me tell you people, that it wasn?t 
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    long at all before my dream came true because the very next day a local 
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    radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number 
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    of molecules in Leonard Neroy?s butt. I was off by three but I still won 
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    the grand prize. That?s right a first class one|-way ticket, to 
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    A - lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque! Ah yah, you know I never 
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    been on a real airplane before and I gotta tell ya it was really great. 
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    Except that I had to ist between two large Albanian women with 
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    excruciatingly severe body odour and the little kid in back of me kept 
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    throwing up the whole time. The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper 
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    and salted peanuts and the in flight movie was "Biodome" with Polly Shore. 
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    And oh yah three of the airplane's engines burned down and we went into a 
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    tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant 
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    fireball and everybody died! Except for me. You know why? ?Cause I had my 
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    train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my 
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    train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my 
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    train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position. Ah ha ha 
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    ha! Oh ha ha! Ahhhh. So I crawled from the twisted burnin? wreckage, I 
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    crawled on my hands and knees for three full days, dragging along my big 
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    leather suitcase, and my garment bag, and my tenor saxophone, and my 
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    twelve|-pound bowling ball and my lucky lucky autographed glow in the dark 
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    snorkel. But finally a arrived at the world famous ?Albuquerque Holiday 
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    Inn?, where the towels are oh so fluffy, and you could eat you?re soup 
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    right out of the ashtrays if you wanna, it?s OK their clean. Well I 
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    checked into my room and I turned down the AC and I turned on the spectro 
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    vision and I was just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow 
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    that I love so very very much when suddenly there?s a knock on the door. 
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    Well now who could that be? I say, ?who is it?? No answer. ?Who is it?? 
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    There?s no answer. ?Who is it!?? They?re not saying anything, so finally I 
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    go over and I open the door and just as I suspected, it?s some big fat 
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    hermaphrodite with a flock of seagull?s haircut and only one nostril. Oh 
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    man I hate it when I?m right. So anyway he burst into my room and grabbes 
    my lucky snorkel and I?m like ?hey, you can?t have that! That snorkel has
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    been just like a snorkel to me.? And he?s like ?tough? And I?m like ?give 
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    it.? And he?s like ?make me.? And I?m like ?k.? So I grabbed his leg and 
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    he grabbed my oesophagus and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my 
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    eyebrows and I took out his appendix and he gave me a valonic irrigation 
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    yes indeed you better believe it. And somehow in the middle of it all the 
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    phone got knocked off the hook, and twenty seconds later I heard a 
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    familiar voice, and you know what it said, I?ll tell you what it said, it 
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    said, ?if you?d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you 
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    need help hang up and then dial you?re operator. If you?d like to make a 
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    call, please hang up and try again. If you need help hang up and then dial 
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    you?re operator. In A - lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque! Well 
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    to cut a long story short he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn 
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    vow right then and there that I would rest, I would not sleep for an 
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    decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car and drove over to the donut 
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    shop and I walked right up to the guy behind the counter and he says ?yah, 
    wadaya want??
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    I said, ? you got any glazed donuts?? He said, ?naaa were all out of 
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    glazed donuts.? I said, ?well you got any jelly donuts?? He said, ?naaa 
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    were all out of jelly donuts.? I said, ?you got any Bavarian cream-filled 
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    donuts?? He said, ?naaa were all out of Bavarian cream-filled donuts.? I 
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    said, ?you got any cinnamon rolls?? He said, ?naaa were all out of 
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    cinnamon rolls.? I said, ?you got any apple fritters!?? He said, ?naaa 
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    were out of apple fritters.? I said, ?you got any bear claws!!?? He said, 
    ?wait a minute, I?ll go check.
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    Naaa were out of bear claws.? I said, ?well in that case, in that case 
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    what do you have?? He said, ?all I?ve got right now is this box of one 
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    B|------|
    dozen starving crazed weasels.?G------| I said, ?OK I?ll take that.? So he
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    A|------|
    E|------|
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    hands over the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they 
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    immediately latch onto my face and start biting me all over ayiyi 
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    yiyiyiyi. Oh, oh man they were just going nuts! Their terin? me apart. You 
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    know I think it was just about that time that little ditty started goin? 
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    through my head. I believe it went a little something like this. 
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    ?Doooohgetemoffmegettemoffmeooogetemoffgettemoffoooohgetoooohgeooohoooahhh 
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    hohhhiahhooohahahahhhohhhhh!? I ran out onto the street with these flesh 
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    eating weasels all over my face, waiving my arms all around and just 
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    runnin? and runnin? and runnin? like a constipated wiener dog. And as luck 
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    would have it, that?s exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams, her 
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    name was Zelda. She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite 
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    and hair the colour of strange peaches. I?ll never forget the very first 
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    thing she said to me, she said, ?hey, you got weasels on your face.? 
    FF
    That?s when I knew it was true love, we were inseparable after that, oh we 
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    ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint- 
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    flavoured dental floss. The world was our burrito. So we got married and 
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    we bought us a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and 
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    Superfly. Oh we were so very very very happy, oh ya. But then one fateful 
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    the Columbia Record Club?? I said, ?Wooooah hold on now baby, I?m 
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    just not ready for that kind of a commitment.? So we broke up and I never 
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    saw her again but that?s just the way things go, . In A - 
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    lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque! 
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    Anyway then things really started looking up for me, because about a week 
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    later I finally achieved my life|-long dream. That?s right I got me a part 
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    out that grease|-fire with my face. Oh ya everyone was pretty jealous of me 
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    after that. I was getting lota attitude. OK like one time, I was out in 
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    the parking lot trying to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil, when 
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    I see this guy Marty tryin? to carry a big old sofa up the stairs all by 
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    himself. So I-I say to him, I say, ?hey, you want me to help you with 
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    that? And Marty he just rolls his eyes and goes, ?nooooo I want you to cut 
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    off my arms and legs with a chain saw.? So I did. And then he gets all 
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    indignant on me, he?s like, ?hey mad I was just being sarcastic.? Well 
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    that?s just great, how was I supposed to know that? I?m not a mind reader 
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    for crying out loud. Besides now he?s got a really cute nickname ?Torso 
    what?s he complaining about? Say that reminds me of another amusing
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    anecdote; this guy comes up to me on the street and tells me he hasn?t had 
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    a bite in three days. Well I knew what he meant but just to be funny I 
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    took a big bite out of his jugular vein, and he?s yelling and screaming 
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    and bleeding all over and I?m like, ?hey come on don?t you get it?? But he 
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    just kept rolling around on the sidewalk bleeding and screaming, YAHHHH! 
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    OHHHH! AHHHH! And I?m completely missing the irony of the whole situation, 
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    man some people just can?t take a joke you know? Anyway, um? um? where was 
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    I? Kinda lost my train of thought. Oh, uh, well oh okay anyway I know it?s 
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    a roundabout way of saying it but I guess the whole point I?m trying to 
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    make is, I, HATE, SAURKROUT! That?s all I?m really trying to say, and by 
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    the way if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an 
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    exsulstential quandary full of woeing and self doubt and wrapped with the 
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    pain and isolation of you?re pitiful meaningless existence, at least even 
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    take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this 
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    crazy old mixed up universe of ours, there?s still a little place, called 
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    A - lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque! Albuquerque, Albuquerque, 
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    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, 
    Albuquerque, I say A, A, L, L, B, B, U, U? QUERQUE! QUERQUE!
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    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, 
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    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, 
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    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, 
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    Albuquerque, Albuquerque,